I have been to very few weddings in the grand scheme of things, but everyone I've ever been close from grade school till now is either happily married or engaged .. or pretty much forcing their significant other to stare at ring catalogs or bridal magazines. Now, I have no idea how hard it is to plan a wedding, (and believe me, i dont want to know anytime soon) but with all the crazy talk I've accumulated and been forced to give a thought on or thumb through(in the last 7 days esp) this is what I have decided:
Outdoors.
Fall or Spring.
Rain or Sun, I'm a fan of both.
converse in groom (not an original thought, but i love it)
Not a strapless dress. Tea length? I'm thinking so.
Shoes debatable, don't think i can rock the converse so well..
(i love this a lot)
calla lilies
No purple
priest, pastor, or reverend, etc.
ring bearer .. my nephews too cute not too
told ya he was that cute!
Oh, and a groom. That's probably key, huh? Well, there's no rush on that one, that's for certain!!! I am no wedding expert, far from it in fact, but I am really glad that I at least know what suits me.
the mantra 'eat. sleep. __insert sport here__' may as well be replaced "crew. crew. crew. crew. repeat". Well, except I do still eat .. occasionally.. but i certainly don't sleep..
In less than 12 hours I coxed the Novie 8 that I coach while the sun set, coached Varsity pairs during the sunrise, and spent my entire morning readjusting pitch, spread, and replacing parts on a really big boat.
Racing shells, Eights (they're pretty big)
me, coxing
I swear i'll come up with some relevant issue to write about soon .. till then ...
a relation of constraint of one entity (thing or person or group) by another;
(physiology) regulation or maintenance of a function or action or reflex etc;
exercise authoritative control or power over
There are some things and some situations that we are not meant to control. Right? Like I'm not supposed to be able to control how much coffee I consume, or what I dream about, or what the weather is .. Well, regardless, it is impossible to do that very thing which for most of us creates some sort of mental sanity. Now I am not a "controlling" personality type, but it tears me apart to not be able to control how I feel and how it can affect my mood. I don't really like to talk about how I feel, what I feel, or why I feel it. But if you are one of those few people who can actually get me to spew my emotions, then you deserve a sincere thank you, because as much as I will probably never admit it more than a handful of times, it's people like you that keep me sane, okay, well at least not edging the line of insane...
Yesterday I found out I had a cracked radiator in my car ... can't control that. My car is 8 years old, it's expected I suppose. But as I sit here in the biggest, nicest Starbucks in LA (on the corner of Inglewood and sketch-ville) enjoying my 3rd refill of coffee and $3.99 2-hr internet surfing while Dave Frost fixes my car, I am realizing how nice just taking the morning to myself is. This week has been a tough one to start, but after a good series of emails yesterday, I'm feeling a bit better about life as a whole today (and the coffee and change of scenery certainly helps).
In honor of turning 24 in a month, I decided to just go for it. It's a reverse tri, so it'll be interesting for sure. As we all know, I'm like the world's worst runner and the only thing that gets me through the running part of these things is the fact that it'll be over sooner if I just keep moving. This time I have to do the run first!?!?! AHHH.
5k run, 12mi bike, 200m swim
(Pretty exited about not doing an ocean swim .. and the fact that it's probably the easier tri swim ever!!)
while USC Men's Crew raced at an indoor erg sprint in Long Beach today it was finally a chance for me to play around with my new camera! I need to get a lot more practice in before the V-day trip to Boston!
Congrats to those above .. 2 k's suck!
In other news, I am officially certified by US Rowing to be a coach! Spent yesterday in San Diego getting my Level 1. Yay, me!
hehehe. this picture is in no way relevant to sam's birthday, however i just like the pic and we used this in a bday gift for a friend the night before i moved to CA
freaking out is not something that falls in the description of who i am
BUT ...
the past 2 days i have really been stressing internally about this semester. not only is it 16 units of classes, but we have our "comps" (comprehensive exams) in April that cover everything we've learned since August of '09 and my icing on the cake is that this weekend I am in San Diego, in three weeks it's Boston, three weeks after that I'm in Sacramento, then Newport for a week, then San Diego, and it just keeps going. So to try to ease my mini panic attack I decided to email the head professor about my concerns like .. are there going to be any type of study sessions or reviews for the comps? If so is it possible to start sending out dates and times for those so that people who have no additional time (like myself) will be able to clear our schedules. If there are no study/review type sessions, would it be possible for me to make appointments with each of the professors last semester to go over my finals from last semester? Unfortunately it's been 48 hrs and no one has responded to my email ... and while yes I am freaking out quite a bit less, it'd be really great if someone could just stress out for me while I just finish school my own way. I'm a pretty smart person. I go to class, I take notes, I highlight the important and the mildly important. But for some reason this last semester I was probably the worlds worst test taker. Well, not the worlds, but I was constantly scoring 8 points lower than the class average on open-note, open-book, online exams, which means I'm obviously missing some major flags on what is important or how to interpret what an author means versus what a professor is thinking. And that's what is probably causing my stress. And while it may really out of my hands, I'd really like to pass graduate school the first time around. AHHHHHHH.
In no order, here is the upside to my 3 day weekend ... despite the 2 days of rain ...
although it rained almost all weekend and i was unable to play with Robbie (my camera) outdoors, i got to read the owners manual and fill out all the rebate/insurance/register information for it
spent a total of 210 minutes on a piece of cardio equipment .. or spinning in my bedroom on my bike trainer
pretty much only ate "rice cereal" for breakfast every day ... rice, milk, sugar, cinnamon ... Delicious
reorganized my room -- including throwing away a ton of junk!
laundry! (yes, that's a positive)
got together all my things to take to the post office in the morning: return a textbook, mail to lil sis, return netflix movies, mail off a friend's bday present
i actually did school work .. whoa!
met with a family who wants to pay me to bbsit while there kiddo just sleeps a few nights a month
talked with my best friend for at least 30min two days back to back .. which is pretty much unheard of for us
got to frolic in the rain .. and by frolic i mean bike, walk, run, scamper, etc
i had the apartment to myself intermittently almost all three days .. SO NICE
took a catnap
All in all, good holiday. Thanks MLK for all you did and the break from reality to observe you and your awesomeness.
I have to cry, have to see, have to know that I can be myself
It is quite possible that I am the most perceptive person I know. And without a doubt, too perceptive for my own good. Some days (or brief moments) I wish I could be one of those people that is obliviously to the world around them. Not so far as to be the cliche "ignorance is bliss", but just oblivious enough to not quietly question motive and enjoy watching moments unfold.
I rearranged a lot of the furniture in my apartment last night, filled up 3 bags of trash and 2 bags of things to donate to good will. Now normally I am aware of what it is that I am trying to avoid or what void it is that I'm attempting to fill by such arduous efforts, but this time I am quite clueless. Maybe it's that I know exactly how many days it is until I move back to Georgia, maybe it's because I know all the things that I am supposed to do between now and May 31st, maybe it's because almost every one of my days from now until May 23rd has been planned out for me.
Today I contemplated putting out an ad (via blog, via FB, via my imagination) for a temporary best friend stand in. If I were to write it, it would probably read:
Dear Temporary-BFF-Fill in, I would really like for you to just come and hang out with me. Maybe spend 3 or 4 days a week just taking up part of my personal space. We can talk about everything or nothing if you'd like, I'm pretty easy going. I don't really want to have to explain who I am, so you had probably best be one of those very few people who can read me like a book. I'd like for you to start pretty much ASAP. I can't pay you, but I can cook a mean meal, if that helps. Sincerely, CME
Wonder if that that is possible? Haha. I have a couple of friends who fit the description (who I really wouldn't be sane without) but they are either married, too busy, or live on an island. And none of those are anything against them, it's just the path that they're lives have taken ... and mine has taken me ... HERE! Here might be a good place, but currently it's a bit drab. I need to shake it up a bit. STAT!
Take the good with the bad, the rough with the smooth...
You've got everything to gain and nothing to lose
Hold on tight
We need the sound to survive
I have to learn, have to try, have to trust. I have to cry
Have to see, have to know that I can be myself.
This time i splurged (student loan money) and bought a really nice camera. Since my last attempt at a 'point & click' was stolen from the boathouse. --Which is really awesome because that means I know who ever took it. Theft/robbery is ridiculous. Therefore my new camera has been affectionately name 'Robbie'.
I know a small % about photography, but here's what I did today. And yes, all my subjects were my cats.
Don't judge me. :)
Sir Lexicon
Kujo
Tigs
Hopefully I'll have more time to play soon! I need to figure this thing out!
I live next to 'that neighbor'. The neighbors who drink so much that they try to get into your apartment at 3am because they think it's theirs. The neighbors who have never though twice that their kitchen cabinets back up to the same wall as someone else's bed. The neighbors who leave their trash outside their apartment for 3 days although their assigned parking is next to the dumpster.
This list could go on for a while .. I've got 6 months of daily stupid, inconsiderate, and irrational tasks that happen daily.
Now, smoking cigarettes might be one of the grossest things I can think of. To each their own etc, etc, but if you're going to smoke, I don't want to be around it. I don't like how it makes my clothes smell, how it dries out my eyes, or that it kills people. Well, "those neighbors" don't seem to think it's an issue.
The apartment complex where I live is a "No Smoking" property. It's in the lease and has been sent out in about 4 different letters to tenants now reestablishing the rules of the property. Now I can understand that it is a pain to go all the way outside the community grounds to get an hourly nicotine fix, but when your neighbor kindly asks you ONCE A WEEK to not smoke outside her apartment, you would think that you could be more than "that neighbor" and show some consideration.
Dear, "Those Neighbors", A little consideration goes a long way. Sincerely, the neighbor.
really, midst of spinning i would randomly start craving sour patch kids?!
in lieu of my missing incredible difficult workouts, i decided to that today i would do something different. i spent a total of 100 min on my road bike .. in my bedroom ... watching Netflix'd season of Glee. Obviously I'm too much of a wuss to sit on a road bike for 100 minutes, so I did 40min, 30, 20, 10 with 10 min in between. Then wanted to fall on the floor I was so hungry. It was awesome... (except the part where all i wanted was to get in the car and go buy sour patch kids!)
PS. If anyone knows anyone who lives in Boston and wants to take me out on Feb 13th/14th for Valentine's weekend, you just give them my # .... (Booked the plane tix today to take some of the USC rowers to CRASH-B's .. what better way to spend a couples holiday than in a hotel room in a uber romantic city solo. Makes a girl feel good about herself. Ha)!
Dragged myself out of bed to go to the gym at 6:15 although it would have been one of those great mornings to just keep sleeping since it was one of 15 days of the year it rains in LA. Got back, did the whole productive-feel-good-about-yourself omelet breakfast. Went into "work".
On top of all of the great behind the scenes work I accomplished (drafting emails to rich men, writing newsletter articles, assessing rowing injuries, etc), I got a chance to really miss those hard, can't walk, can't talk, can't move for 2 days after type work outs that you just can't get unless you are a part of a competitive team. This morning the guys had a heavy big muscle groups lift in the gym, then topped it off with 4 x 40 sets of jumpies. This afternoon they did a pretty awesome erg/lat/pec series .. 3 times. I was jealous.
I watched the guys .. and coxswains even .. in physical pain. Their bodies were physically failing them. And I just wanted to share in more than correcting their form or a pat on the back. I spend a lot of time in the gym and sometime leave drained, but can never achieve that "if i move my body will collapse" feeling. The only times I've ever felt recently are post triathlon. The obvious answer here is to do more.. but lucky me all the triathlons I'd be able to actually complete are on weekends were my crew has races. Perfect. What's a girl to do?
i like this song a lot. it is depressingly beautiful in a simple, repetitive way. occasionally i would love to know a place where "no body knows [me], and no body gives a damn either way".
Officially made it through the first day of all my responsibilities for this final semester out in LA. Monday was a looong day ...10am - 1pm : Quantitative and Qualitative Analysis of Occupational Data. 1-1:45 Fight traffic on the I-10 to get back to my apartment to bike to main campus class. 3:30 - 6:20: Research Methods
.. bike to class 5 blocks off campus ...7pm - 10pm : Ergonomics ... which only has 6 people in the whole class! Yea, not exciting.
Tuesday's I have a Shakespeare english class that will surely be the end of me..some "elective". Then off to pick up my 'babysitting' gig and take her to her ice skate lessons. ANNNNDDD since I know how chilly it can be in the ice rink, I had to end my 2010 shorts spree. Yup, went back to the denim today.
Me hanging out at the ice rink attempting to be a productive student ... i read 7 pages ...
Things that get me through a day of 10am - 10pm day of classes...
to-do lists
sketch on my notes rather than take notes
text, check email, text, repeat
day dream
contemplate my next big steps in life .. and how many of them I won't follow through on
So I've had this blog acct for over a year now ... I had some old school cheezy photos on here that I was using as a virtual scrapbook site to send out to some of my extended family. But recently received inspiration to use it as some sort of outlet or insight for my life (depending on the day.. or who reads it). As I start my last 15 weeks of grad school, I've been thinking a lot about inspiration in general and what inspires me. The conclusion that I've come to is that my inspiration lies in the middle of common every day, both arduous and easy, tasks. Whether it's 5 minutes in the morning to sit on a sofa in silence with a cup of coffee and my best friend, or stuck in traffic on the I-10 for 30 minutes b/c LA drivers suck. I am the kind of person who can't chose to be moved by something. It just happens. Maybe that's the surprise in life .. maybe I'm just difficult!
