the more I talk about it, the less I do control

control:

• power to direct or determine; "under control"
• a relation of constraint of one entity (thing or person or group) by another;
• (physiology) regulation or maintenance of a function or action or reflex etc;
• exercise authoritative control or power over

There are some things and some situations that we are not meant to control. Right? Like I'm not supposed to be able to control how much coffee I consume, or what I dream about, or what the weather is .. Well, regardless, it is impossible to do that very thing which for most of us creates some sort of mental sanity. Now I am not a "controlling" personality type, but it tears me apart to not be able to control how I feel and how it can affect my mood. I don't really like to talk about how I feel, what I feel, or why I feel it. But if you are one of those few people who can actually get me to spew my emotions, then you deserve a sincere thank you, because as much as I will probably never admit it more than a handful of times, it's people like you that keep me sane, okay, well at least not edging the line of  insane...

Yesterday I found out I had a cracked radiator in my car ... can't control that. My car is 8 years old, it's expected I suppose. But as I sit here in the biggest, nicest Starbucks in LA (on the corner of Inglewood and sketch-ville) enjoying my 3rd refill of coffee and $3.99 2-hr internet surfing while Dave Frost fixes my car, I am realizing how nice just taking the morning to myself is. This week has been a tough one to start, but after a good series of emails yesterday, I'm feeling a bit better about life as a whole today (and the coffee and change of scenery certainly helps).

side of a building in Los Angeles