way too late to be this locked inside ourselves

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust. 

I have to cry, have to see, have to know that I can be myself

  It is quite possible that I am the most perceptive person I know. And without a doubt, too perceptive for my own good. Some days (or brief moments) I wish I could be one of those people that is obliviously to the world around them. Not so far as to be the cliche "ignorance is bliss", but just oblivious enough to not quietly question motive and enjoy watching moments unfold.

I rearranged a lot of the furniture in my apartment last night, filled up 3 bags of trash and 2 bags of things to donate to good will. Now normally I am aware of what it is that I am trying to avoid or what void it is that I'm attempting to fill by such arduous efforts, but this time I am quite clueless. Maybe it's that I know exactly how many days it is until I move back to Georgia, maybe it's because I know all the things that I am supposed to do between now and May 31st, maybe it's because almost every one of my days from now until May 23rd has been planned out for me. 

Today I contemplated putting out an ad (via blog, via FB, via my imagination) for a temporary best friend stand in. If I were to write it, it would probably read:

Dear Temporary-BFF-Fill in, I would really like for you to just come and hang out with me. Maybe spend 3 or 4 days a week just taking up part of my personal space. We can talk about everything or nothing if you'd like, I'm pretty easy going. I don't really want to have to explain who I am, so you had probably best be one of those very few people who can read me like a book. I'd like for you to start pretty much ASAP. I  can't pay you, but I can cook a mean meal, if that helps.  Sincerely, CME

Wonder if that that is possible? Haha. I have a couple of friends who fit the description (who I really wouldn't be sane without) but they are either married, too busy, or live on an island. And none of those are anything against them, it's just the path that they're lives have taken ... and mine has taken me ... HERE! Here might be a good place, but currently it's a bit drab. I need to shake it up a bit. STAT!

Take the good with the bad, the rough with the smooth...
You've got everything to gain and nothing to lose
Hold on tight
We need the sound to survive
I have to learn, have to try, have to trust. I have to cry
Have to see, have to know that I can be myself. 

-- Bit a Bad Boy, SCOOTER